3 Reasons to Make Self-Love a Priority Now
When we make Self-Love a priority now, our lives can change very quickly, resulting in greater balance, fulfillment, and happiness.
For many of us, Self-Love is not at the top of our priority list. It may seem important but we think it can wait until the rest of our lives are in order. We have careers and kids to take care of first.
What many of us don’t realize until we are completely depleted is that the absence of Self-Love may be exactly why our life needs order.
What if you could finally lose that weight, feel seen, nourished, confident, sexy, and have exactly what you’ve longed for in a relationship?
What if Self-Love was actually the key?
How The Lack of Self-Love Can Be Our Biggest Handicap
I remember the day I went to a hypnotherapist for the first time, hoping he would have the magic key to all of my problems, only to hear him say, “Low self-esteem is what we are going to work on.”
This was nothing new since my whole life I’d heard, “stop being so hard on yourself.” It was also that last thing I wanted to hear. When someone told me I needed to believe in myself, have confidence, or that I had low self-worth,
I felt lower than others. I felt a sense of being broken. It seemed like everyone around me had this functioning self-appreciation but I’d been oblivious to this.
I felt like the “special” one in society that just hadn’t gotten it. To me, low self-esteem meant I belonged to a minority of rejects. This is just what my mind did with this.
Not only did I value self-love, I immediately went into judgment. Needless to say, I never returned to this Hypnotherapist or any Therapist that mentioned low self-worth or the like.
I had pushed it so far away from me that I couldn’t even identify with the parts of me that so desperately needed love. I was fine.
What I REALLY needed to work on was my relationship with my boyfriend and my career that was not satisfying me. Also, my body that was overweight. These were the real issues.
I just needed to find a Therapist that knew what they were doing. Right?
Benefits of Self-Love
What Can Self-Love Give Us?
- Improved Health
- Fulfilling Relationships
- Connection to Source = Increased Peace
Why are these important? We all seek, crave, and need love. However, many of us end up feeling denied this through our relationship with others, leaving us feeling hurt or abandoned.
The truth is, often we have abandoned ourselves first. If it is so easy to deny ourselves, don’t you think this affects how others treat us? We deny our own needs, placing ourselves under others. Then, we are surprised when we feel like we are treated like a doormat.
We think it has nothing to do with ourselves and everything to do with those around us.
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When we don’t love ourselves, we will find it hard to feel loved and appreciated in our life. This will affect our careers, health, relationships with others, even our relationship with God/Source/Creator.
When we subconsciously blame, judge, or deny ourselves, we will not be available to receive the good things coming to us. We may perceive them as not coming to us at all, when in fact, they are right in front of us.
There could be angels all around you trying to shower you with prosperity, miracles, and love. Unfortunately, you may not notice, if you are stuck in a mindset of lack, self-denial, self-hatred, or mistrust.
Instead, the good all around you will become invisible and you will only see the negative aspects that are in desperate need of love.
Everything we have denied will make itself known, like a child throwing a tantrum. A child will act out in negative ways when he/she is seeking loving attention.
If we judge or punish them for the negative actions, the negative will grow stronger. They will continue acting out to get attention whether it is positive or negative. It becomes twisted the more we deny the actual need presenting itself.
The need is love. If we could see that everything that arises, is asking for love, we could find peace very quickly and avoid the suffering.
However, what normally happens is we go into judgment of what is because it makes us uncomfortable. We react with fear and push away what is causing us to feel uncomfortable.
We try to change the child’s behavior and reject them, causing a disconnection. Our emotions are just like the child.
For example, when we feel anger, jealousy, terror, anxiety, or sadness. It is all there to love, like a child inside asking for nurturing.
When we resist or deny these parts, they will go into shadow to wreak havoc in our lives. They will begin and continue to act out until they receive the love they need.
What we resist will persist until we pay attention to it. This is where sabotage comes in.
How Sabotage Keeps Us Locked Into Victimhood
Have you ever felt taken for granted or even attacked by coworkers…even loved ones? Have you ever worked diligently to make more money, only to find more problems surfacing to have to pay for?
What about dieting? Have you ever been successful at losing weight, but then find it hard to keep it off?
What about finally reaching a level of success only to find the rug pulled out from under you? It is easy to feel like a hopeless victim to life in each one of these circumstances.
These are all types of sabotage that can happen when there is a lack of Self-Love. There can even be the presence of self-hatred deep inside that is informing our subconscious mind to project this out in our daily experience.
We may not even be aware of this self-hatred because it has been buried so deep in our unconscious psyche, but it can be running our lives anyway.
All we experience on the surface is that the world is harsh and full of mean people. We may feel victimized over and over in our life, not realizing it is ALL coming from inside us, It is being fed from the self-hatred inside us or our lack of self-love.
How Do We Begin to Love Ourselves?
It took me years to figure out, Self-Love was my first and final stop in my search for happiness.
When we start diligently focusing on giving to ourselves in a loving way, we start to see our lives shift dramatically. This is when we realize just how powerful putting self-love first really can be.
Many of us don’t even know how to start loving ourselves. We have actually been taught to not value it. We have been told that is is selfish and that we should focus on others first.
As a result, we have given and loved others, only to feel depleted in essential ways.
This can lead to confusion and resentment. We can even start to question love. The truth is, we must love ourselves first before we have anything to give to another.
This doesn’t mean we have abandon all relationships because we are not ready. It only means our capacity to love and be loved will grow deeper.
The great news is we have control over changing this. We can make different choices started today that will change our lives for good.
We can start by having the intention to love ourselves on a daily basis. Just this alone can be very effective. It is natural for us to align with anything that will bring us into more happiness so it does not take great effort to make this shift.
Then, we can take specific action steps to deepen and establish it as a habit.
- Take Time to Slow Down– Consciously slow down your breathing- Breath gets us aligned with our heart space and with our Higher Selves. It can inform us of deeper knowledge and connect us with love
- Sending Love to Your Heart– Focus attention on the heart space (center of the chest) and simply say or think, “I Love You.” Do this throughout the day.
- Feel Your Emotions Without a Story– When an emotion arises, stop and just feel it without trying to understand why it’s there and what it means. Just let the feeling rip! Welcome it fully. When we take the story away, the emotions can move out very quickly, which prevents them from getting stuck in the body.
- Learn to love What Is– See ourselves in All of our creation. Let every person and situation be a mirror looking back at you, with some message you need to hear. Find the message rather than wasting the energy to judge or change the mirror.
- Shift Judgment Into Connection– When you do notice you are judging the mirror or others, add these three words to the end of the judgment. “Just Like Me” EXAMPLE: “She is so annoying…just like me.”
- Stop Defending and give to the parts that oppose us as they are the ones in need of the most love- When we find ourselves needing to debate, or argue with someone, stop. Find the courage to just listen to them with love. Take your awareness under their words and realize every word they are saying is really requesting more love not less. Focus on your breathing and just listen, without needing to be right.
- Do 1 Thing Every Day That Brings Joy– Taking a Long Bath, Gardening, Singing, Cooking, Walking Your Dog, Treating Yourself to a Picnic in The Park
How Self-Love Can Heal Ourselves & The World
When we make Self-Love a priority now, our lives can change very quickly, resulting in greater balance, fulfillment, and happiness. The more we practice it, the better our life can become.
At first, like many new habits, there may be resistance from the ego mind. The ego’s job is the keep everything the same so it is just doing its job.
We can thank it and disregard the inner dialogue, knowing that we are just developing a positive change.
Just like starting a new workout regime, there may be a little pain at first. It is common to experience muscle aches and pains while we are getting stronger. Old toxins move out of the body naturally when we introduce more oxygen and flow.
This can also happen with the emotions that surface when we begin loving ourselves. We begin to release emotions and parts of ourselves that have been denied.
These are parts in need of healing. For example, we may feel repressed anger coming to the surface to be accepted and released. It will not necessarily have a story attached to it, and that is okay. Our job is to allow, accept, and love it as it leaves.
We may feel sadness or grief. It is important to know that these are just coming up to be loved as they release.
If we notice other people annoying us or trying to confront us, ask yourself what is asking for more love at this moment? Every piece of you deserves more love not less.
You are worth this love, just by being you. There is nothing you have to do or be to deserve it. You are already worthy.
The more gentle we can be with ourselves, others and the process, the easier it can be to come into a state of inner stability.
You will begin to notice more peace inside and out. It is such a miraculous shift.
If you’ve always wanted to make a difference in your world, this will be incredibly satisfying for you. Just watch and notice how beautiful the world becomes as you shift from the inside out.
Thank you for reading.
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Misha Almira is a shamanic healer. meditation teacher, and full time blogger.