3 Ways to Finally Overcome Jealousy
Do You Feel The Overall Restlessness of the World?
There is a collective feeling that a big event is about to take place. It is easy to feel like we will be consumed by the strong emotions as they rise like a tidal wave. It may not be clear what is happening, but the feeling is undeniable. It is not just in your imagination. There are some powerful shifts occurring and you are tapped in.
This is a time of letting go of what no longer serves us. It is crucial to pay attention to our inner guidance and our feelings. Our emotions can be our greatest gift to transition with grace or they can be the most painful reminder of our unwillingness. It is up to us how we ride this wave.
We are building up to a Harvest Moon, Super Moon and a Blood Moon but also an Eclipse that is part of a series of four that began back in 2014. This is happening on September 28th. The Sun has also been extraordinarily generous with sending us conscious energy. Many of us are feeling the amplified energy all around us. There has been a significant shift and many have been feeling this for months.
What has been very clear, is we no longer have the luxury of indulging our egos and hiding in the shadows.
Our shadow selves are coming to the forefront for the final exit. If you hear the call, you will not be able to hold on to these parts, without it becoming increasingly painful. You are growing at a very fast rate and must open to it. It will become impossible to Be in the same way as you have in the past.
These aspects are making themselves known for the sole purpose of freedom. It is not only our freedom as individuals but as an entire planet. These aspects will be freed into the light, we will be given more access to truth and all creation will be elevated. The only job we have is to be courageous enough to honor and love our WHOLE self. If we merely focus on the pain we get stuck in suffering and miss the point entirely.
The way this looks unfolds in each moment. We do not have to know all the answers as to how, in fact, it is better to be in a place of not knowing. This is not a journey of the ego or intellectual mind, it is an expansion of consciousness. We are learning a new way of “Being.” It is not always comfortable going through it, but it can move quickly if we choose. We just have to be willing and allow life to move through us.
I would like to share an experience of going through this as it unfolded for me. Some of you may relate to similar experiences with other emotions. I invite you into my journey with the hopes that it will shed more light into the darkness in your life.
Jealousy- That Emotion We Wish We Never Had
I feel it. I want to deny it more than I want to finish that chocolate cake in front of me. I’m sitting in a beautiful, elegant restaurant. It did have an incredibly romantic ambiance until 3 seconds ago. I was enjoying myself thoroughly when I looked up to see my boyfriend staring at the gorgeous waitress beside me. I don’t normally get the experience of feeling jealous of other girls. I usually admire their beauty or outfit without any comparison. It is not a painful feeling, just an innocent admiration and then I move on. This is different. I see him practically drooling over this 20 something year old and I feel…physical pain.
I shrink in my chair. Suddenly, I am aware of my split ends, my imperfect boobs, and flabby arms. Although the arms are less flabby than a few months ago, all I can think of is the slight jiggle still remaining when I reach up for my water glass. Only moments ago, I felt like a beautiful young vivacious Queen.
Now, I am wondering if my eyes look puffy compared to hers. I can’t even look up. “God, I hope he isn’t comparing my skin to her perfect smooth olive complexion. I keep my gaze in my lap, feeling the size of the rice I just dropped on my suede boot. “If only I had the superpower of invisibility right now.”
I start fantasizing about having my own place for the night. I’d run like hell, straight to my comfy p.j.’s and watch romantic movies all night. I would stuff my face with cheesy snacks, chocolate cake and wine until I could induce that familiar warm ‘everything is okay’ sensation. Then, I could pass out and leave this world behind. I’d be peacefully ALONE with nobody around to trigger this painful feeling of not being enough.
Instead I sit in the restaurant squirming uncomfortably. My boyfriend knows what is going on and says, “that is guys are and it isn’t a big deal.” I can see this is an attempt to make it better, but it does the opposite. Now I am losing hope in all relationships and the promise of happiness with a male. I am afraid to look up because she may be there. I hate him for making me feel this way. I hate her for being there. I feel about 12 years old. I remind myself that I am a grown woman with beautiful curves, a successful career, and a great life. What is happening?
Then, I decide to do something about it. I asked myself, “What are my choices?”
- Blame him or try to change his actions which will end in resentment in both of us. I know resentment is a relationship killer so it will be an inevitable end to us.
- Leave. I could leave the restaurant, leave the relationship, or leave the state. This is my usual choice. I have spent years leaving perfectly healthy relationships, jobs, and homes. I’d establish a promising life in a beautiful place with a fantastic job and happy relationship. Then, something would trigger my pain body, and open old wounds. I’d run to the bottom of one liquor bottle to another and I would choose to uproot my life and find a new beginning. The result of this was a seemingly exciting new beginning that ultimately brought me right back to this feeling I’m feeling right now. Emptiness. I am not enough. This would also be an inevitable end to us.
- I could face myself. This would be an inevitable end to the demons that have haunted me for years.
R.A.I.N. – Technique to Move Emotions
I am once again that jilted teenager, feeling less than, jealous, and embarrassed. I decide to bring this shadow into the light. I choose number 3. I choose to stop running from my shadow.
The acronym RAIN, first coined about 20 years ago by Michele McDonald, is an easy-to-remember tool for practicing mindfulness. It has four steps:
Recognize what is going on;
Allow the experience to be there, just as it is;
Investigate with kindness;
Natural awareness, which can take us into Nonduality where we stop identifying the suffering as who we are. It can naturally become like the passing clouds in the sky.
“What am I feeling?”
“I accept this shame.”
“Where do I feel this shame?”
“What does it feel like?”
“It burns. It is red hot. It is on fire.”
“Anger. I feel it in my lower abdomen…moving like a raging wildfire. It wants to move to rage to burn until it is done. I fell disgusted, guilt, ashamed, & SELF HATRED.”
“It is in my heart.”
“I feel Jealous.”
“Who’s jealousy, self-hatred, disgust, anger, shame, guilt, is this?”
Stop and Embrace Beauty in You.
Life Grows…Life Dies
You are All That You Love and All That You Fear
All That You Hate, Is From Within You
Embrace What You Fear in Love
Shamanic Tracking Technique –
Clearing the Source of Jealousy
I opened sacred space and invited my Jaguar ally to track these shadow aspects of jealousy back to their source. I held the intention of clearing all old trauma that is causing jealousy, going forward and back on the timeline to release the source completely. As they started coming up, we released deeper levels of jealousy, rage, insecurity, body shame, guilt, abuse of the feminine, objectivity of the female, rape, submission of the feminine energy, sexual abuse of power, anger in the kidneys, ovaries, and liver. Then, we came to a huge area of wrath, Mother Earth, abuse, rage, jealousy of substances in relation to abuse, more wrath, submission of wildness.
It was pure carnal essence ravaging through dark hidden aspects. The darkness was devouring itself and transforming. The Jaguar was devouring the negative between the worlds. We tracked through unknown crevices with the intention of releasing old karma from our lineage forward and backward, and permanently altering our creation. This was transforming all that wanted to hide, changing it into life-giving prana, with the power of freeing them into the light.
When the clearing felt complete, we became still. I sat in gratitude of the Jaguar and all allies. I invited the light and knowledge of the Sun into my chakra centers and asked if there was a gift or message for me.
I sat quietly listening for a message. I thought it would come in words but it started showing me in other ways. First, I felt a sensation in the center of my forehead between my eyes. Once I let my awareness go the sensation, I immediately saw a cone coming out from the sensation about a foot. Then, I started seeing visuals of gold that formed into a pyramid then changed into a burst of sunlight. As I watched the burst, I started making out the form of a human in the center of it. I immediately got the knowing that it was a Star God/Goddess. I could not make out which one. I asked if it had a name and I heard Ra of Delphi.
I have never been drawn to worship the Sun or other Sun Dieties. I do not know anything about it. I just felt the power of the conscious light that was pouring into me. The image became clear and I could see it was changing into a female form. It did not seem human or female. It seemed like the Sun taking a familiar form for me. It got closer and closer to me. Then, I saw Ganesha and purple flames mixed with gold.
The Sun Being got more intense and brighter and Ganesha simultaneously poured liquid gold into my hands. I could feel it in my hands like a hot liquid was being poured through my palms. Then, I could feel it on the top of my head. My body was being filled with warm liquid gold and the knowledge of the Sun. I felt like I was inside fire. All I could do was receive it without thinking. I do remember noticing how much I had underestimated the power of the Sun. I would never do that again.
I was being gifted the precious energy and I felt humbled…honored. I sat in awe, gratitude, and was completely honored to have been in the presence of such beauty. There were no words to encompass what had just occurred. I always considered myself to be one of those people that just didn’t get visions. Now, I have been humbled on several occasions. I have been shown that there is so much I do not know. I welcome this. Thank you, Universe.
Ganesha Mantra – Remove Jealousy
Ganesha is known as the remover of obstacles. Since he came to me in a vision, I decided to share this powerful mantra for removing jealousy. If you choose this tool, you can repeat this mantra 108 times to release feelings of jealousy. It is also recommended to do this for 40 days.
Om gaht-vidvēsâyæ namaha
Message For You
Each time you sacrifice heavy emotions from the shadow aspects, the parts we want to ignore, we open to more light. These aspects that we instinctively want to run from are actually key to all that we long for. This light is much more than what we experience from a lightbulb or even fire. The word as we know it does not grasp the actuality of it. It is the light of Love/ God Consciousness. It is full and contains absolute Truth. It is the “Peace that passeth all understanding.” It is what we are made of and the light that All recognize without explanation.
Each time we are willing to be vulnerable and feel what is limiting us so it can be released, we wake up a little more. We shine light on everything that hides in the dark and it transforms into more light. It loses the power hold it has on us. Then, we know freedom. We make room for more love of God and we embody actual truth. Actual truth does not take sides. Actual Truth is all inclusive. It has nothing to oppose it. It has nothing to defend. When we release what is in the dark, what arises is pure passion, vitality, and valor. We no longer have anything to fear. We are the absence of fear.
Misha Almira is a shamanic healer. meditation teacher, and full time blogger.