Category Archives: Articles To Activate the Divine Feminine

Becoming Gaia Part II – Putting the Feminine Under

Gaia II- Misha Almira

Becoming Gaia Part II- Putting the Feminine Under

For a long time, women have starved themselves, worn uncomfortable clothing, and changed their personalities in order to be more pleasing.

Many were forced into submission over time. Many are filled with fear of abandonment.

The question I asked myself a little more deeply is why?

Did it come from a negligent father or was it from before that? Was this a collective decision that we were coerced into following?

At some point, men decided they were not going to settle for less than what they deemed as perfect.

They wanted to touch soft skin, see a lady in heels, tight clothing, and corsets. They decided a small waist and big breasts were the current definition of what was attractive.

Then, they decided small breasts and skinny bodies were appealing. Then, it changed again. Perhaps it was Playboy and all the media that started the ball rolling.

All I know is they decided what was appealing and stopped pursuing any women that did not meet their standards so women were left with no choice but to conform. At least, this was the story many of us have believed.

As a result, we spend a lot of money getting hair ripped out of our body on all the sensitive spots, hours getting our hair colored, straightened, curled, lengthened, and if they only saw us getting into our spanx!

Yet, I see short, hairy, bald, potbellied, men with gorgeous women on a daily basis.

Today, we are inundated with information about how we have to be in order to attract a mate and yet they continue to have a wandering eye and justify it as something that is out of their control.

They say, “all men look, that is just the way we are” and “every man watches porn and fantasizes about other women, that is just a man.”

We are expected to accept this. Yet, what if we had accepted our worth and replied years ago, “women are curvy, and prefer wearing flats and want a lot of lovers, that is just a woman.” and “we need a group of lovers to satisfy our needs, do not expect more from a woman.”

What if they were forced to accept a woman as she is, in order to attract a mate?

What if rough-disconnected-10-minute-porn sex was replaced with sensual-multi-orgasmic-full-body-mind-blowing pleasure for the woman first sex?

What if they had to change their behaviors to focus on one woman’s needs because this is what we demanded?

What if we decided we were worth this and if they did not agree we would just bring in another man that would?

What if we decided war was not needed and demanded more effective coping skills?

What if we decided to stop settling for less and they were forced to evolve and change to match our new standards?

What if we demanded a higher standard in ourselves as women and the outdated patriarchal society had to line up with the new paradigm?

Good old supply and demand.

Only this time, it would be our choice? It is not about role reversal but about honoring our true needs.

It is about us being honest and living authentically which will bring much-needed balance between the masculine/feminine dynamic.

Up to this point, it has been easier to deny these needs than risk being beaten or killed for demonstrating our personal power.

This is why it is easy for us to laugh this off as ridiculous. Afterall, we like rough sex, right?

We like being a doormat for our men and we like making sure their needs are met, while secretly feeling unfulfilled on so many levels.

We don’t need to ask for more because we are happy. Right? Maybe we are so accustomed to ignoring our needs we are not even aware of needing more.

It might just be a faint whisper deep inside or a subtle tugging at our spirit.

We might experience it as a mild disconnection but nothing we can’t learn to live without.

We have lost touch with our true selves.

The Worship & Fall of the Goddess

This has been programmed into our genes for many lifetimes. Until about 8000 BCE, our ancestors organized themselves into hunter-gatherer societies.

The female life-giving principle was at this time considered divine and a great mystery. Some Goddess statues still survive from this era.

The feminine aspect was worshiped and held in high esteem and even feared for her creative powers. Wisdom and creativity of the Goddess was revered and held with utmost respect.

Nature was considered sacred and closely connected with the feminine.

The suppression of Goddess worship is said to have started in Western Europe a few thousand years BCE, when the Indo-Europeans invaded Europe from the East.

They began introducing certain “refinements” of modern civilization: the horse, war, belief in male Gods, exploitation of nature, knowledge of the male role in procreation, etc.

Then, Goddess worship was gradually combined with worship of male Gods. Over time, the female principle of religion was driven out and women were considered inferior to men.

The Priest, King, God & Father replaced the Priestess, Queen, Goddess & Mother.

Eventually leading to the lowest point for women in the Middle Ages, when thousands of accused female witches were hanged, burned, or both.

It is really no wonder why many of us are deeply afraid of asking for what we want or standing in our own power.

I have actually had meditations where I relived a hanging and could feel my neck breaking. For years, I suffered from a consistent lump in my throat, afraid to speak my truth.

The words would just not come out. They would gather in my throat and torment me. Through journeying and bringing missing soul parts back, I was able to free the blocked energy and fear.

It feels so freeing to be able to speak now and to feel safe being seen by others.

For a long time, I feared being killed if I fully stepped in my power as I suspect many of us do. It was more of a subconscious fear but it kept me lock in an internal prison of submission for as long as I chose fear.

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Is Ayahuasca a Scam?

ayahuascascam-Misha Almira

Is Ayahuasca a Scam?

Danger! Danger! Health Concerns – Is it really Safe?

Ayahuasca can have negative impacts on health if combined with some prescriptions drugs, particularly antidepressants, for example, Prozac and other specific serotonin reuptake inhibitors.

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13 Important Things You Should Know Before Your First Ayahuasca Ceremony

13 Important Things You Should Know Before Your First Ayahuasca Ceremony - Misha Almira

13 Important Things You Should Know Before Your First Ayahuasca Ceremony

Is ayahuasca a natural remedy for healing or just another drug fad? Should we fear it or honor it?

[bctt tweet=”The only devils in the world are those running around in our hearts. That is where the battle must be fought. – Mahatma Gandhi”]

Ayahuasca, also known as yage, is a blend of two plants – the ayahuasca vine (Banisteriopsis caapi) and a shrub called chacruna (Psychotria viridis), which contains the hallucinogenic drug dimethyltryptamine (DMT).

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Breaking News!! First Ever Legal Ayahuasca Center in the U.S.

Mount Rainier National Park within 13.8 miles of the Ayahuasca Retreat Center in Elbe, WA.

Breaking News!! First Ever Legal Ayahuasca Center in the U.S.

 

Is it true? Yes it is! The first ever legal Ayahuasca Center is open in the U.S.

Americans wanting to experience the visionary teachings of ayahuasca previously had to travel to the jungles of South America, until now. There is no need to go all the way to the Amazon for an authentic Ayahuasca Ceremony!

There is a new ayahuasca retreat center based in Elbe, Washington. Ayahuasca Healings Native American Church is a non-profit religious organization and independent branch of Oklevueha Native American Church (ONAC). It is real deal and completely legal.

Founder Trinity de Guzman He writes,”We have 100% legal rights to use the sacred sacraments of Ayahuasca, Peyote, San Pedro – any plant that grows from the earth – inside of America, according to the laws of the land.”

“Our Vision is to build and create together 30 Ayahuasca Retreat Centers and Fifth Dimensional Tipi Village Communities, with the Oklevueha Native American Church’s (ONAC) fully endorsed guidance, support and blessing, near every major North American city by the beginning of 2032, the start of our New Golden Age.”

After spending 9 months in Peru, participating in weekly Ayahuasca ceremonies, Trinity de Guzman was given a vision. He drew from his deep transformational plant medicine work to bring this vision to America for the service of others.

With the main focus of the retreats being to prepare you: mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, for the best Ayahuasca ceremony you can possibly have. The concept is to immerse fully with each ceremony by thoroughly purifying the mind and body before during and after ceremony to get the most out of it. Purging is a big part of ayahuasca and the cleaner you are the gentler the process.

There is a feeling of integrity and authenticity behind this group of facilitators. The groups are kept small (13) in order to customize each individual’s healing needs. The focus is less on gathering a large number of ayahuasca ceremonies and more on integrating the healing of the medicine.

I got to see from personal experience that the number of ceremonies really does not matter. I chose to do 8 ceremonies but my 2nd ceremony still remains the most poignant and powerful teaching of my life. Some people have felt complete after 1 ceremony and Ayahuasca has a way of working through each individual with absolute perfection.

When Are the Retreats Held?

 

The retreats are 4 days starting Friday and ending Monday. They are mainly holding weekend retreats so people can conveniently come for plant medicine healing without disturbing the normal work week. Other Ayahuasca Retreat Centers do not offer this level of attention to integration. At least not any that I have seen.

This allows individuals to experience the ancient plant medicine in a new and different way than most retreats in Peru which normally require 10 or more days for multiple ceremonies. Then, the integration is done at home.

AyahuascaIntegration - Misha Almira

Integration

 

Many Shamans and Facilitators stress the fact that the work begins after the retreat when you take what you’ve learned back into the world.

For myself, it took about 3 months of integrating all that I was taught and to  gradually fully transition back into my life.  I was fortunate to have been working from home which made it much smoother.

It is different for everyone, but there is usually a period of time to readjust because your perception of reality has changed and your body has restructured in a new way.

“We are committed to you receiving the most powerful, significant, and monumentally rewarding healing experience that you could possibly receive. And to leave you transformed for the rest of your life.”

“And it would be a DISSERVICE if all we do is give you a bunch of Ayahuasca ceremonies in one weekend, and send you away.” -Trinity de Guzman

How Many Ceremonies are Included?

 

In the weekend retreat you will participate in 4 ceremonies. There will be 1 Ayahuasca Ceremony, 1 San Pedro (Huachuma) Ceremony,  a Native Indian Sweat Lodge Ceremony, Fire & Water Ceremony. In addition, you will receive a Full Day of Heart Energy Medicine Integration. 

Trinity talks a little about San Pedro saying, “Memories that have been buried by wounding, trauma and pain, that you’ve forgotten about and locked in a closet full of skeletons and cobwebs somewhere within your subconscious mind, buried deep and forgotten, so you wouldn’t have to deal with them…”

“San Pedro has a powerful way of bringing these energy leaks, negative patterns, sabotaging self-limiting beliefs, and psychic traps to the exposed surface, so you can see them, acknowledge them, recognize them, and then be more able to bring them into your Ayahuasca Ceremony, for the even deeper astral journey, transformational work, healing and psychic rewiring to be done.”

“The Sweat Lodge doors close, and water is poured onto the stones, evaporating instantly, filling the sacred temple space with steam. This steam heats and massages your body, cuts through your mind, purifies, releases and cleanses you so deeply on every level, physically, mentally, emotionally, and soulfully, so that any shamanic plant medicine we give you is able to work at its highest potential.” -Trinity de Guzman

[bctt tweet=”Imagine trying to pour tea into a full cup. If the cup is full, the tea will just flow over the edges of the cup. There must be room for the tea. -Ancient Wisdom”]

LargeTipi

These are not the actual Tipis on the retreat land.

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Each participant stays in a double occupancy Tipi with bed, blankets and pillows. The idea is to be deeply connected with nature and have someone to make sure you get assistance if needed at any time. 

The center is now taking applications for upcoming retreats in March and April 2016. They ask for a donation of $1497 to $1997 USD and offer scholarships to one participant per retreat. 

If you are reading this, you probably already feel called to Ayahuasca. My advice is do your research and listen intently inside.  This type of medicine is not for everyone but if she calls to you it is worth listening. It is the most powerful teaching I have experienced ever and I have had some powerful spiritual teachers in my life. 

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Thank you for reading. You can read more about my personal experiences with Ayahuasca here. Also, feel free to subscribe to receive a free download of my ebook, Notes of a Shaman Student by filling out the form on the left of the page.

 

Continue reading Breaking News!! First Ever Legal Ayahuasca Center in the U.S.

14 Ways to Integrate Your Ayahuasca Experience

14 Ways to Integrate Your Ayahuasca Experience - Misha Almira

14 Ways to Integrate Your Ayahuasca Experience

 

I was told that the Ayahuasca ceremony was only the beginning of my work.  I wasn’t sure exactly what this meant until I returned home from Peru.

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What To Do When You Freak Out During an Ayahuasca Ceremony

What to Do When You're Freaking Out on Ayahuasca - Misha Almira

What To Do When You Freak Out During an Ayahuasca Ceremony

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What can you do?

When I made plans to go to Peru in May 2016, I did not know what I was getting myself into. All I knew was I had to go. It did not take long into my first ceremony to realize this was not a drug like LSD, Mushrooms or anything I’d even heard about. There was a level of freak out I was headed for that I did Not feel adequately equipped for. I was certain my body and mind would not survive this one. In fact, my mind was so far removed I wasn’t even sure of what I was anymore and felt certain I would never be the same again. This was not a good thing either. The freak out moment was coming and fast with or without my approval!

I’d read quite a few articles about Ayahuasca before going and thought I could get a good idea of what to expect. I was especially inspired by Graham Hancock.  I originally thought I would do one ceremony and be done with it. I just wanted to see what it was like. Ayahuasca was definitely calling me, but I thought one ceremony was enough to answer.

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However, after learning more, I was inspired to do multiple ceremonies  and I’d decided with certainty to do them in Peru. At the time, I thought I was the one making all the decisions but in reality there was a much deeper plan unfolding and I was not in control of any of it.

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In hindsight, I truly believe you can never outsmart Ayahuasca the Teacher so there is always going to be an element of the unknown. Plus, each ceremony is completely different. I chose to go through 8 ceremonies for my first Ayahuasca retreat and not one of them was the same and dosage mattered very little, at least in my case.

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 Powerful Tools

Ayahuasca was the most intense experience of my life and there is nothing that can truly prepare you for what you will go through. However, I do know of some powerful tools to help you before, during, and after. It can make the preparation, immersion, and integration somewhat gentler on you. These were priceless tools for me and I would not want to have gone into this experience blindly without them as many people often do.
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Meditation - Misha Almira
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1. Meditation
Meditation can be very important before during and after an Ayahuasca ceremony. It has the ability to be your umbilical cord connecting you with what is ultimately real while spinning in a sea of madness. I am not saying your lessons with Ayahuasca will be a tumultuous mind fuck, but if it is, meditate. It can be the only  gentleness you remember if you do feel lost in the depths and a way to come back to self.
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Dramatic? Yes, but our Egos can throw some pretty stirring episodes our way while traveling through the psyche. Not to mention,  Mother Ayahuasca holds nothing back. She likes to show us what is really going on with no sugar coated edit buttons. I recommend being prepared for a wild ride with all the safety gadgets, life jackets, and mechanical tools you can find.
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I have been meditating for years, but I had let my practice slip. I went from meditation sessions of 3 to 6 hours each day to barely 20 minutes. In hindsight, this should have been a priority in preparation for 8 Ayahuasca ceremonies. I am telling you this so you can have a gentler and more enjoyable experience.
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The thing I noticed while at the retreat was the individuals that had a strong practice of regular meditation had a much easier time adapting to the experiences they went through in the ceremonies. They were able to be more objective during the intense parts and integrate it faster. They were able to be fluid with the expansive aspects of Ayahuasca as well. It was truly inspiring to watch. There was an ease in embracing what the teacher presented and diving into the psyche was not as traumatic on their nervous systems.
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I was able to pull myself into an objective state with the help of simple meditation mantras. It took conscious focus and repetition. It was very difficult for me to remember my exact intention while I was in the ceremony, so I was very grateful for the mantra. It gave me perspective, centered awareness, and solace.
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Some of the experiences were overwhelmingly blissful and expansive. I had never experienced this level of positive overwhelming sensation. All I could do was hold the mantra, “I am love” in my mind while Ayahuasca moved me. It is an essential tool to have. Because the teaching was so profound, it took months to integrate after I came home.
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Meditation was the key to fully understanding and assimilating all of it. There is no way to make sense of it with the analytical mind. It is a teaching that must be processed in every cell of the body and meditation allows enough relaxation in the body, mind and spirit for this to happen.
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Breathe Misha Almira
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2. Breathing
Our wonderful facilitators led us in a simple meditation of watching the breath. We practiced this for 20 minutes before our first ceremony which was invaluable. When the medicine starting coming on for my first ceremony, I could sense the intensity that was about to hit. I started breathing deeply and slowly.
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Then, nausea hit hard and my breathing became even slower. It helped me to stay present in my body which is very important. It also acted as an anchor to the room I was in. At any moment, I could remind myself to breathe and would be back in the room aware of my surroundings.
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It is very easy to lose all sense of self within the experiences of Ayahuasca and having an easy reminder to breathe can make a world of difference. It is the difference between freaking out or adventurously riding the wave of what comes next.
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Surrender Misha Almira
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3. Surrender/Trust
Before leaving for Peru, I was given some advice from my mentor and Shamanic Healer. She said if it gets too intense, remember to say, “I am willing.”
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At the time, I did not even realize the value in this advice. You see, if you resist what Ayahuasca is trying to show you, it can get ugly real quick. If you do not trust her or fully respect her, she has a way of demanding that you do. It will bring you to your knees in reverence when you fully see the power of the plant medicine. I have met no greater Teacher this far. There seems to be nothing hidden, forward and backward in time.
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With that said, I would highly recommend this be your first choice of tools when meeting the Mother of Teachers. She will be the most beautiful being you have never imagined of if shown the much-deserved honor, respect, and trust. She can also be the epitome of your worst nightmare if you choose to control, mistrust, calculate, or command your experience.
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She will wait and let you choose but you will be accountable for the choice you make in every second of the journey. “I am willing and I trust you, Ayahuasca.”  These can be your most essential keys to the unbelievably magical aspects of Ayahuasca if you choose. I have never known anything like it. I am convinced that English was not meant to describe such an experience because our language cannot contain the essence of Universal Knowledge.
Thank you for reading. Please subscribe to receive updates and my ebook “Notes of a Shaman Student” by filling out the form to the right.

Who Do You Think You Are?!

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Who Do You Think You Are?!

We all have stories about how things are. We have a story of the type of person we are. what we do, how we act, what we look like, what type of success we have had. Some of these stories were born from our childhood examples. Some of them came from our results in life as an adult. We have a few successes in a new career and we change our story about who we are as a professional. We see ourselves as competent in business. What happens when we hit a rough patch and lose a few big accounts resulting in getting fired?

 

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When Did Abusive Sex Become Hot?

When Did Abusive Sex Become Hot?

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Let’s talk about sex. I am among the many women guilty of thinking that Christian Grey is sexy as hell, but why? When did I start thinking whips and chains were a turn on? I don’t even find that kind of sex arousing. How did I go from beautiful conscious love making with very evolved men to fantasies of spanking? It is interesting how when my self-esteem started taking a nose dive so did my standard of good sex. When I was too afraid to ask for what I wanted, I started settling for what I got. Then, I started believing I enjoyed it.
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I asked myself what was so sexy about Christian Grey. This is what I discovered.
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He is sure of himself
He is mysterious
He is passionate
He takes his time
He communicates his needs
He is vulnerable
He is warrior like
He knows who he is
He is sensual
He is strong
He does not apologize for what his desires
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So if I take the abusive qualities out of the picture, these are qualities I desire. It is not the way he likes to have sex.
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I can even take it a level further. These are the qualities I want to bring out in myself.  As women, we do not always feel comfortable being the huntress, the seductress, and the one that is in charge. Some of us have tried to embrace this part of us only to find we are left alone. We have let the warrior come out and scared the crap out of the man in the bed with us. Then, we learn to quietly go back to our cage. We learn to be docile and tame again.
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I realize I am not speaking for everyone because there are women that are very comfortable with the wilder and more dominant parts of themselves. However, I do want to address another aspect of this.
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I believe our examples of power have either been powerful men or women emulating powerful men. In my experience when I have unleashed the huntress, it has been so overwhelming and aggressive it has taken the role of the masculine in the partner dynamic. Then the masculine either has to take the role of the feminine and submit or run, which is what happens a lot of the time.
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When Did Abusive Sex Become Hot? Misha Almira
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I have since realized there is another way. When the feminine is fully embraced, the shadow aspects (repressed parts of us), can be soft and hugely alluring. It does not need to be aggressive in a combative way but can still move like the enormous surge of a Tsunami.
It can have the power equal to the masculine but with a different flavor. It does no good at all for the feminine to mimic or even submit to the masculine. This only results in a lack of respect from both sides. The masculine craves a fully balanced and empowered feminine energy. The problem has been that we have been following the lead of the masculine to find ourselves and looking in the wrong place entirely.
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The ironic part is that we have done this by the forceful hand of the masculine which has no clue how to show us our true feminine aspects. We must trust and allow these dormant pieces of ourselves to blossom from within.
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A New Paradigm - Misha Almira

A New Paradigm

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The time of letting men show us what our pleasure looks like is an outdated way. Our bodies are Divine and meant for hours of pleasure. Why would we continue to settle for a forceful and aggressive quickie when we are designed to have full body orgasms for hours? Why are we still asking them for permission and submitting to uncomfortable positions to make sure they enjoy it?
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 Our female bodies respond best when they become soft and open. Shoving something into them with aggression only causes a hardness within our bodies and souls. It forces us into a masculine space instead of in a space of soft reception. Some women have even lost their ability to have orgasms as a result of years of forcing themselves away from their natural state of openness.
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Your Need For Pleasure - Misha Almira

Your Need For Pleasure

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How many full body orgasms have you had? When was the last time you had multiple orgasms for hours and felt completely satisfied? When was the last time you felt so cherished it brought you closer to Divinity/God/Higher Self?
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It is time for us to start cherishing our bodies as more than just a vagina and tits. This may sound harsh but we have allowed magazines, porn, movies, and men to decide what is acceptable. We have followed their lead in deciding our own worth and we have put ourselves through hell trying to live up to these standards.
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Please don’t get me wrong, I am not a feminist in the traditional sense and I am by no means a man hater. I have huge admiration for the masculine that is in balance.  More than ever I am learning to honor the masculine inside myself. Because of this, I am aware of the out of balance masculine and feminine energies that have become prevalent in our world.
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It starts with us. As long as we keep following the lead of others, we will remain imprisoned in limitations. You may say, “well that is just the way men are” or “well it has always been this way and it will stay that way.” I say this is not true any longer.
You know those women that seem to have it all and yet they are not perfect models?  You try to figure out what they have that makes them so damned happy and successful and…
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What is it about them? I know a few of these and have driven myself crazy asking this same question.
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Let me ask you the more important question. Would you like to feel happy, cherished, sexier, more youthful, more empowered, more confident, or radiantly beautiful? You can. Stop and breathe this into your heart.  You can.
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Would you like to drive men crazy with desire and have a line of men wishing to serve you? Would you like to feel more bliss and pleasure? You can. It is so simple. At first, I did not even believe it. I disregarded the advice for years. I ignored it, thinking it had to be hard. Some part of me felt like I needed to suffer first. Some part of me did not think I was worth it.
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I even thought I loved myself but then my life kept showing me otherwise. It was easier to accept love that hurt than receive what I was worth. Then when I would get what I was worth, I  would find a way to sabotage it.
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This perpetual loop of getting less than I was worth, left me constantly yearning for more. I wasn’t even sure what I was longing for.
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The longing got so intense, that I finally made a change. It did not happen overnight, but it did change.
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You can make the decision right now to stop settling for less than you are worth. You can start slowly, by making a list of how you want to feel.  Make your own list and write it down. You can start with things you wish your boyfriend or significant other would do for you.  I have given a few examples below.
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I want to feel loved
I want to feel needed
I want to feel cherished
I want to feel worshiped
I want to feel young and sexy
I want to feel admired
I want to feel accomplished
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Then, take your hands and place them over your heart while you change the statements. Take 3 deep breaths between each statement. Do this every day.
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I love myself. I am loved.
I am needed.
I cherish myself. I am cherished
I worship myself. I am worshiped
I am young.
I am sexy.
I admire myself. I am admired.
I accomplish everything I set out to do. I am accomplished.
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 As you practice this, you will become aware of your needs as they come up throughout your day. When you feel yourself getting frustrated, you can stop and ask yourself what it is that you need. Then, do this exercise. You will start to feel a shift inside yourself and in others around you. It will surprise you how effective this exercise can be.
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As you get deeply in touch with your needs, you will begin to get more specific.  Allow your list to change as situations present themselves in your life.
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I am honoring and enjoying my own body more than ever.  I am no longer willing to compromise in places that do not match with my ultimate worth. The most beautiful part is that as a result of my decision to practice this, my relationships have become more incredible and rich. My world is changing around me as a result of my dedication to filling my needs.
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I began exploring sensual dance. Then, I decided to practice basic Tantra techniques which are amazingly more profound than I ever new. Even the most basic exercises can take your pleasure to a whole new level.
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The more that we as women start to recognize our needs and our true worth, the more the world will line up with us. We get to decide what is beautiful through our innate Divinity.

How to Shed Our Old Skin Through Tears & Compassion

How to Shed Our Old Skin Through Tears & Compassion- How Porn led to Honor

How to Shed Our Old Skin Through Tears & Compassion  – How Porn Led to Honor

I saw a TED talk about the side effects of watching porn. This hit close to home because I’d had a couple of boyfriends that were addicted to porn. Once I went 6 months without sex, while in a relationship. He just wasn’t interested but masturbated all the time. Needless to say, this caused personal issues for me and a lot of doubt. I tried to make sense of it but always came up short with answers. I blamed myself and thought something was wrong with me for years as a result of it. Dance and sex had always been two places I could always let go and feel completely free.  I went from being very confident sexually to doubting everything.
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When I saw this TED talk from a guy that had been addicted to porn, I was very curious.
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He said he stopped watching porn for several reasons, but there was  one that really stood out for me. He said before porn, he would think about dialog with girls, caressing, and kissing. He would go through scenarios in his mind of what he would say and how she would respond. He was genuinely curious about her.
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After porn, he would think about penetration and lost interest in the other aspects he previously entertained.  He pointed out how in porn scenes they don’t use their hands. It is all focused on the genitals, with the woman usually in a very uncomfortable position. He went on to say he noticed his urges progressing into more violent desires of dominating the female. He said he noticed it got into his mind and almost seemed to take over his thoughts.
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I found this interesting especially because when this previous boyfriend would initiate sex, it was not about getting to know me but more about “getting off.” I often felt like he hadn’t even been there with me. There was little caressing, less kissing, and no genuine interest in what I liked. It was, “clothes off face down.” I accepted this because I was too uncomfortable to talk about my lack of satisfaction. I would casually mention Tantra, but that was shut down really quickly.
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Porn Addiction - NothingTo Do With You - Misha Almira
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When it occurred to me that we had gone 6 months without touching, I realized I did not even miss it…with him. I was young and had a healthy drive but really didn’t associate what we did with pleasure anymore. Any desire I did feel, I would suppress it immediately because it was usually around other men.
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I knew my boyfriend had a porn addiction and I felt helpless to change it. I had accepted that he no longer desired me. I didn’t talk about it and just let a lot of assumptions fill my mind. I lost hope that it would ever change. He said he liked his freedom to do what he wanted. I just saw the relationship ending slowly. Eventually the lack of talking and connecting killed what we once had.
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So, when I saw this man courageously standing up and talking about his addiction to porn so openly, I had so much admiration for him. I also immediately felt triggered. All these old emotions started surfacing. Those memories of that girl I once was, came to the forefront.
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I was also strangely inspired and filled with hope. I started talking to my now boyfriend about it and getting more worked up. I talked about how I wanted the whole porn industry to be shut down and human trafficking to stop.
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Before I knew it I was noticing how much this had opened my old wounds. I was stuck in blame. I was blaming men for being sleazy, and blaming women for perpetuating it. Then, I judged them for a while. I  started to notice how drained I was feeling by blaming my outside world and wanting it to change.
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“Wow, where was this downward spiral coming from? Who was I being right now?”
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I stopped and took in a deep breath. Then, I asked, “what am I feeling?” It hit me hard. I got in touch with the old anger, shame, sadness, betrayal, and feeling less than. I felt disrespected  and devalued. I let the emotions wash through me and I cried. I cried tears of remorse from all the loss I felt. I cried for all the needs I had that were ignored and neglected… by me.
“Wait, by me?” “What?”
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Through the tears, I came to see how I had turned my back on me. I cried for denying myself true fulfillment. Then, I cried tears of compassion for myself, for other women, for innocent children, and for men. I cried tears of forgiveness.
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I asked myself, “what do I need to feel honored, cherished, respected, and seen for more than just being a female body.”
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Honoryourself
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A big sigh came as I cried more tears of compassion.
I heard, “give to yourself…honor yourself.”
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I made the decision to honor myself. I questioned what that looked like but  made this my new intention. I realized the only power I had was to make a change in my perspective. I recorded the video below to share my experience after making this decision.
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We get to honor ourselves and when we do, others will follow our lead. It is time for us as women to cherish our bodies, our minds, our souls. We are temples of the Divine, only we have forgotten. It is time to remember we are Goddesses in a body.

We are not here to lower ourselves to the needs of others. We are not here to mimic the masculine as our example of power. We are not opposing the masculine or in a power play with it. It is not a competition between us and them. That is an old paradigm.

We are here to remember our radiance and inner power. We are the examples of the Empowered Feminine.

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WeAcceptTheLove
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Raise Your Standards

Trust Yourself

Know Who You Are

 

My Battle with Darkness & Light

 

Misha Almira - Battle of Light & Dark

My Battle with Darkness & Light – Psychic Attacks & How to Protect Yourself

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There has been a battle going on inside me and in the world for a while now. It is the battle between light and dark.  I would wake up feeling drained and ready for sleep. It felt like my nights were filled with fighting entire battles.

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Even throughout the day, I would have a sense of constantly having my guard up. There was an awareness at all times on my inner world, putting up protective shields, with one eye watching psychic predators at all times. It would trigger fight or flight and was forcing me to be on high alert with my surroundings. There was a threat of allowing other beings into my field with the thoughts I was following in my mind.

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It seemed that all the work I did to increase light and raise frequency was putting out an especially attractive call to darkness. Psychic attacks are happening to more of us lately, especially if we are diligently working on raising our vibration. This is actually one of the many symptoms of the opening and moving beyond 3rd Dimension (3D).
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Af first, I was relying heavily on Archangels and Angels to protect me. What I noticed was sometimes it felt like they were not really helping me. At first I judged this as I must have offended them in some ways, or maybe I was asking too much from them. I was just noticing that when I did call them in, it did not always feel like a positive shift in energy.
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This started turning my world upside down. I was questioning everything. I was questioning my fundamental beliefs about light, dark, higher allies, God, Creator, Christ, Existence, and Divinity. What could I put my trust in? If I could not trust Angels and light beings, what could I call on for protection? What did this mean?  My whole life has been dedicated to Christ Consciousness and serving God. I was being rocked and had no clue where to look.
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Then, I became aware of several synchronicities that were occurring and they were presenting the same message. I was even seeing 1111 everywhere and waking up at 4:44 a.m.  on consecutive mornings.  I kept hearing the message, ” trust nothing outside yourself. Go within.” I was still being guided, but big questions were coming up.
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I already had an appointment scheduled to work with a Shamanic Healer that I have been working with for the past 5 years. We opened Sacred Space and it was more powerful than usual. I could feel the protection all around me. I could sense the positive energy allies. I let my guard down and decided to trust the process.
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She did a healing and tracked the source of this feeling of being haunted or stalked by darkness.  She did not feel like I’d let anything inside me which I knew. Although I still found relief in hearing someone else say it.
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Then, she tracked it back to an old contract in another lifetime. Somehow this felt right. In this past lifetime, I had committed myself to service of others. I said I was available as a conduit for beings to work through me. Some of the work was used for good and some for bad. I had agreed to both. Everything she said to me resonated because I was already getting these messages from my inner guide. Once again, I got the message to trust myself and go within.
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You see, in addition to all I’ve talked about, I also get frequent feelings of shame and guilt. I feel like somehow I am not a good person and that I’ve abused my power before. Although, I have no memories of doing this. Whenever I have tapped into my power, I instantly become afraid and shut it down by giving it away to others. I have not been able to fully embrace my power for years and have felt like I’m stuck in an elusive prison. With this new knowledge, I finally understood on a very deep level.
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Revoking Contracts
We worked on revoking these old contracts and agreements that I had made previously. I made the decision to revoke these old arrangements and to bring my power back. All the power that I had given freely. Then, as I felt my energy lightening and my energy coming back I was aware of a slight dread. It was as if I was waiting for a backlash. We continued to cut cords and then focused on bringing in the light. I set an intention to make my powers available to the light that transmutes darkness and is here for my highest good. It was safe to trust myself and my power.
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After the session, I felt free.  I felt a lightness of being and more personal power. Then, as night came, I started feeling  a slight resistance to being influenced from something. There were incidences that were triggering fear in me and I could feel  a certain vulnerability. It felt like a psychic attack. I instinctively started calling on Angels for protection but did not feel a shift. I put up my own protection and focused on activities to raise my vibration. It shifted after about 20 minutes.
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I have since become aware of a third factor in the battle between light and dark. I have written more about it HERE.