Becoming Gaia Part II- Putting the Feminine Under
For a long time, women have starved themselves, worn uncomfortable clothing, and changed their personalities in order to be more pleasing.
Many were forced into submission over time. Many are filled with fear of abandonment.
The question I asked myself a little more deeply is why?
Did it come from a negligent father or was it from before that? Was this a collective decision that we were coerced into following?
At some point, men decided they were not going to settle for less than what they deemed as perfect.
They wanted to touch soft skin, see a lady in heels, tight clothing, and corsets. They decided a small waist and big breasts were the current definition of what was attractive.
Then, they decided small breasts and skinny bodies were appealing. Then, it changed again. Perhaps it was Playboy and all the media that started the ball rolling.
All I know is they decided what was appealing and stopped pursuing any women that did not meet their standards so women were left with no choice but to conform. At least, this was the story many of us have believed.
As a result, we spend a lot of money getting hair ripped out of our body on all the sensitive spots, hours getting our hair colored, straightened, curled, lengthened, and if they only saw us getting into our spanx!
Yet, I see short, hairy, bald, potbellied, men with gorgeous women on a daily basis.
Today, we are inundated with information about how we have to be in order to attract a mate and yet they continue to have a wandering eye and justify it as something that is out of their control.
They say, “all men look, that is just the way we are” and “every man watches porn and fantasizes about other women, that is just a man.”
We are expected to accept this. Yet, what if we had accepted our worth and replied years ago, “women are curvy, and prefer wearing flats and want a lot of lovers, that is just a woman.” and “we need a group of lovers to satisfy our needs, do not expect more from a woman.”
What if they were forced to accept a woman as she is, in order to attract a mate?
What if rough-disconnected-10-minute-porn sex was replaced with sensual-multi-orgasmic-full-body-mind-blowing pleasure for the woman first sex?
What if they had to change their behaviors to focus on one woman’s needs because this is what we demanded?
What if we decided we were worth this and if they did not agree we would just bring in another man that would?
What if we decided war was not needed and demanded more effective coping skills?
What if we decided to stop settling for less and they were forced to evolve and change to match our new standards?
What if we demanded a higher standard in ourselves as women and the outdated patriarchal society had to line up with the new paradigm?
Good old supply and demand.
Only this time, it would be our choice? It is not about role reversal but about honoring our true needs.
It is about us being honest and living authentically which will bring much-needed balance between the masculine/feminine dynamic.
Up to this point, it has been easier to deny these needs than risk being beaten or killed for demonstrating our personal power.
This is why it is easy for us to laugh this off as ridiculous. Afterall, we like rough sex, right?
We like being a doormat for our men and we like making sure their needs are met, while secretly feeling unfulfilled on so many levels.
We don’t need to ask for more because we are happy. Right? Maybe we are so accustomed to ignoring our needs we are not even aware of needing more.
It might just be a faint whisper deep inside or a subtle tugging at our spirit.
We might experience it as a mild disconnection but nothing we can’t learn to live without.
We have lost touch with our true selves.
The Worship & Fall of the Goddess
This has been programmed into our genes for many lifetimes. Until about 8000 BCE, our ancestors organized themselves into hunter-gatherer societies.
The female life-giving principle was at this time considered divine and a great mystery. Some Goddess statues still survive from this era.
The feminine aspect was worshiped and held in high esteem and even feared for her creative powers. Wisdom and creativity of the Goddess was revered and held with utmost respect.
Nature was considered sacred and closely connected with the feminine.
The suppression of Goddess worship is said to have started in Western Europe a few thousand years BCE, when the Indo-Europeans invaded Europe from the East.
They began introducing certain “refinements” of modern civilization: the horse, war, belief in male Gods, exploitation of nature, knowledge of the male role in procreation, etc.
Then, Goddess worship was gradually combined with worship of male Gods. Over time, the female principle of religion was driven out and women were considered inferior to men.
The Priest, King, God & Father replaced the Priestess, Queen, Goddess & Mother.
Eventually leading to the lowest point for women in the Middle Ages, when thousands of accused female witches were hanged, burned, or both.
It is really no wonder why many of us are deeply afraid of asking for what we want or standing in our own power.
I have actually had meditations where I relived a hanging and could feel my neck breaking. For years, I suffered from a consistent lump in my throat, afraid to speak my truth.
The words would just not come out. They would gather in my throat and torment me. Through journeying and bringing missing soul parts back, I was able to free the blocked energy and fear.
It feels so freeing to be able to speak now and to feel safe being seen by others.
For a long time, I feared being killed if I fully stepped in my power as I suspect many of us do. It was more of a subconscious fear but it kept me lock in an internal prison of submission for as long as I chose fear.
Misha Almira is a shamanic healer. meditation teacher, and full time blogger.