How To Love Yourself in 3 Simple Steps
1. Learn the Art of Appreciation
We may not be able to control what has happened to us in the past. We might feel helpless to our beliefs.
There are a few things we do have control over, though. We have control over what we think about a situation.
We can choose to judge or we can choose to appreciate.
Look around the room and take everything in.
Then, I want you to try to find something wrong with the situation. Are the lights too bright? Is there clutter? Just take a few minutes.
Now, close your eyes and notice how that feels. Now, open your eyes and find something to appreciate.
Then, find something else. Keep going for a few minutes finding as many things to appreciate as you can.
Now, close your eyes and notice how that feels.
See the difference? See how easy the choice was? We can make this choice and direct it toward ourselves…filling ourselves first.
The more we appreciate, the more we will find to appreciate. It can turn into an avalanche of appreciation.
This is a step toward loving ourselves. The more we fill ourselves the more it will overflow to others.
I like to make a list of as many characteristics as I can think of to appreciate.
Then, I will read it before bed or when I wake up.
This exercise has a way of shifting the way we think of ourselves very quickly.
2. Commit to Self-Love for 30 Days
When I decided to love myself, I did not know how to begin. I was well aware of my own self-hatred and all the ways
I was lacking. I just had no idea how to love myself. You can’t start off running a marathon without a little practice.
Training takes a goal and a plan. It is by making the commitment and then taking action every day that you reach your goal.
Commit to self-love for 30 days. Write the dates down when you will start and finish.
Every day you will be continually asking yourself, “how can I love myself right now?”
You will repeat this throughout your day, until it is the basis of all of your decisions.
You can develop a new habit in this 30 days. After this 30 days, you can recommit to another 30.
Then, it will become such an internal habit that you will not have to think about it.
You will just notice making healthier decisions and living a more fulfilled life.
You see, when most of our decisions are coming from our own self-hatred, our world reflects that harsh hatred back to us.
We find struggle everywhere we look because our outside is reflecting our inside.
Now, we have a way to reverse this cycle and turn our lives around for the better.
The more aware we become, the more power we have to change it. We just keep asking this question, while intently listening.
Through this process, we are awakening our intuition and relearning to listen to our inner guide.
Then, we take action on what our intuition tells us. It will get easier the more we practice this.
3.Treat Yourself Like a Deserving Child
We are often very hard on ourselves. We find our inner critic yelling, “get over it!” when we are feeling sad, lonely or let down.
What if a close friend called you crying over the loss of a loved one and we replied, “get over it!”
See how ridiculous this is? What about yelling at a child when they feel hurt? We wouldn’t dream of this and yet we do it all the time when we are talking to ourselves.
Part of learning to love ourselves is allowing time to feel human emotions. We must honor what we are feeling and KNOW that we are worthy of love. We are worthy to receive love.
Whatever story we have had in the past, telling us otherwise, is over now.
We must start to treat ourselves as gently as we would our own child or loving pet.
Make it a habit of seeing yourself as a small innocent child in front of you, asking for love.
See that beautiful child. Look into the eyes of the child standing in front of you.
Take the child in your arms and gently rock it. In challenging situations, use this visualization and give to yourself as the child.
You can also do this as a guided visualization meditation.
Close your eyes and imagine yourself in a safe beautiful place. Take a seat in a comfortable chair, hammock, or grassy area.
Imagine yourself as a child, notice the age of the child and just allow the scene to unfold in front of you. Notice what the child is doing.
Think about whether this child deserves to be loved and protected. Imagine going to the child.
Tell the child they don’t have to be strong anymore.
Tell them you are here now and will not leave them. Tell them they deserve to be loved and that they deserve to be happy.
Then hug the child. Tell them you love them and tell them what you love about them.
When you feel like the child is ready give them another hug and imagine tucking them into bed or running off to play with a friend. Let them know you will always be here for them and that they are safe.
Bring your awareness back to the room you are in. Wiggle your fingers and toes. Then, open your eyes.
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P.S. I would love your feedback. Please comment below. Also, if you’ve experienced feeling stuck in the past or symptoms of anxiety, visit Work With Misha.
Misha Almira is a shamanic healer. meditation teacher, and full time blogger.