Shadow Work Tips: Eat the Peas First
What do you hate in others?
Can you see how it might have something to do with you?
Go there first. It is where life will lead us eventually so as Obama says, “Eat the peas.”
Remember when your mom would make a plate for you and you would get excited to see the mashed potatoes, Mac & Cheese and peach cobbler.
Then, you get to the peas. Bleck!! You know have to eat all of it, but you really don’t want to get to those.
So, you can save them for last or you can eat them first and get to the good stuff.
This can be applied in personal development or spiritual growth as well.
Go where we feel the most fear. Do the thing we dread the most and do it first. Get it over with.
Life will put you through Hell if you keep choosing to put the blame on others…judging them as inferior.
Denial is normally the default response but will only cause pain, confusion and continuous aggravation.
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Have you ever wanted ALL of these annoying A*%holes to just leave you alone?
If it was not for these idiots, your life would be peaceful, right?!
“It’s always something,” is my step dad’s mantra.
He states this constantly and is surprised when life is hard. His life is an ongoing string of mishaps, ill health, and mechanical failures. Yet, he still does not see his part in it.
For many years, I would get so annoyed with other people. I felt like they were just in my way or making life hard for me. I began alienating myself just to find peace and quiet.
I was a bitch to others if they didn’t do things my way. I pushed people away with a mindset that life was harsh and painful.
I finally ended up depressed and felt very alone. I caged myself off so much that even in a crowded room I would feel all alone.
Yet, if people called me a bitch, I was shocked! I immediately denied any part in it and turned the tables on them, convincing myself that they were abusive.
Then, more burned bridges and alienation.
It took years for me to realize that this was a piece of me that I’d put in shadow. When we deny parts of ourselves, we hide them deep in our psyche even from ourselves.
Then, these parts become our shadow self, often leaving us feeling like we’ve lost ourselves somehow and not knowing why.
It was easier for me to accept the parts that made me look like a good person, but I completely denied being a bitch.
It wasn’t just one person that accused me of this either, and it became increasingly more challenging to portray everyone else as an abuser.
Not to mention, all the bitches in my life that were pushing my buttons.
I couldn’t stand it when a woman would speak her mind or forcefully stand her ground. It made my skin crawl. “What a Controlling Bitch!”
As my outside world became more uncontrollable and increasingly more uncomfortable, I got backed into a corner. I had nowhere else to run.
I knew I had to do something different or I was going to drown in all the resentment and anger. I was raging on the inside at all these people pushing my buttons!!!!
Meanwhile, life just kept bringing it with more intensity.
I finally had to acknowledge it had something to do with me, take the bitch out of shadow and own it completely.
This is how life plays a role in waking us up. We can’t see all the parts we have pushed away or denied.
Life is the only way to become aware of it. If we insist on projecting our stuff on others, they will escalate into bigger monsters, until we get it.
What do you hate in others?
Can you see how it has something to do with you?
Go there first. It is where you will be lead eventually so as Obama says, “Eat the peas.” Do the thing you dread the most and do it first.
It is ALL ONE REFLECTION OF YOU.
Do you hate Trump? What quality do you hate about him?
Have you ever judged someone for not being like you in some way?
I had a black nanny growing up and I loved her so deeply. I loved her brown skin and admired it.
My mom had interviewed quite a few women that were caucasian but I wanted nothing to do with them.
But, when Mrs. Hattie walked in I crawled in her lap and didn’t want to leave. I didn’t see a color divide. I just saw someone I loved.
I thought she was Aunt Jemima. She was famous in my mind!
However, I immediately disliked the Chinese from a young age…for no reason.
I didn’t know why and I was never taught this. This was a hard piece to pull out of shadow because I felt ashamed to be categorized as a racist.
Have you ever felt like a pervert in your own mind? You know those thoughts that pop in that embarrass the crap out of you?
Get honest. Here is your chance. If this is making you agitated, angry, or cynical, that is good!
In my constant striving to be the ‘good girl’, I had a hard time admitting that I’d had perverted thoughts before. Maybe it wasn’t every day, but I’d had them.
Yep, I was a pervert. Did I act on the thoughts? No, but did I have a closet pervert in shadow? Yes. Could I cast stones at Trump? No, not anymore.
I invite you to take Trump Hilary or any other object of your hatred out of the picture. Imagine it is just one big dream and it is all you.
You are the actor playing Trump, Hilary, the crappy driver, or the neighbor’s yappy dog etc…
What quality gets under your skin? Can you remember ever having this quality?
Hard to swallow, right? Maybe you immediately answered, “no, absolutely not.”
If so, I invite you to sit with it. Open your mind to the possibility that there might be something here for you.
When we acknowledge owning even a little part of our reflective universe, we get a little more of our authentic power back.
By not acknowledging it, we are just giving our power to the object we are judging. So, we are feeding exactly what we hate.
Fighting against it does not make us stronger, it drains our energy.
When we start to experience our lives as a big mirror, it can actually become funny. We will see all kinds of characters showing up for us.
They all want and need acceptance…forgiveness.
This is not about excusing evil behavior. It is about becoming aware and shifting our consciousness into a higher perspective.
You want to see more kindness, love, happiness, and miraculous shifts? Start with all the judgments that are in the way. Start with what you judge about your life, other people, yourself.
It is impossible to judge others and fully love yourself. Your life is revealing to you exactly what to accept and forgive. Are you paying attention?
A great daily practice of this is the mirror exercise. I have mentioned it before but I will also explain how you can practice it with another person as well. I had never done this with another person until recently.
I did it in a Shamanic training class. It is very powerful to do with another person while seeing yourself in their eyes.
- Look into another person’s left eye, while they look into yours
- Hold the intention to see yourself in their eye
- Allow the image to change and reveal different aspects of you
- Silently ask to be shown the aspects of you that need the most forgiveness and love.
- Send love to each one of them, reminding them that you will not abandon them again.
I find the more I practice this, the easier it is to see this on a big scale in the world. Everyone in your world is a piece of you. EVERYONE
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Misha Almira is a shamanic healer. meditation teacher, and full time blogger.