The Cosmic Joke of the Universe Through Ayahuasca
Right after drinking about 3/4 of a shot glass full of the brew, I started feeling it. My stomach started burning and I could feel the purge coming.
I breathed deeply and noticed my head started to move from side to side in slow motion.
Everything became silent, I felt like I could hear the patter of insects and every sound in the Universe at once and yet it was within a profound still place.
It all vibrated with a distinct harmony and every being had a place in the masterpiece. I started seeing visions of geometric shapes in purple and green hues.
The shapes were light and had their own intelligence. There were intricate grids with knowledge.
I was being shown the secret to nature, the earth, animals, trees, insects, humanity, and existence of all beings. The grids were inside the trees and moving very quickly.
Then, I got it…the Cosmic joke. I began laughing and couldn’t stop.
It all made sense and it was funny. The insignificance of our 3D worries and lives was so apparent. I could see it all at once…how small we really are.
I was laughing from pure happiness of existing in oneness and laughing because I finally understood the answer to all of my questions.
Then, the bliss became overwhelming. It was like making love amplified by a million. I was in the presence of my Eternal Lover.
We were playing and enjoying pure love of being. There was one being in all of creation…then I became aware of others in the room. All the beings in the room became one.
They were inside me and outside me at once. All of existence stopped and turned in honor. We were all aware of the one being and I was experiencing it inside my body.
It was as if they were all honoring what I would choose next. They were holding space and we were all inclusive. It was beautiful and vulnerable. All secrets and judgments disappeared.
It was wonderful. They were watching. waiting, loving, supporting, and more present than I’d ever experienced. They were sitting in Love with me and for me.
There was no rushing because the moment was still. I could have taken 3 lifetimes to make a decision and they were still there with me…they were me.
We were all the same Being.
In that moment, I realized I’ve never been alone. I’ve never been without support or love.
I could hear the Maestros start the Icaros and I felt my body wanting to purge. I started vomiting a lot. Then, dry heaves came. All the while, I was in a heightened state of Bliss.
Then, more vomiting, eyes watering, nose running, and more dry heaves. The room was escalating like the purging of my body.
I thought it might never end. When I felt my body collapse over my bucket, I gently pushed it aside and moved into child’s pose.
Then, all went quiet. I felt myself traveling very quickly. All went still and an eye in the center of my forehead popped open.
I was not alone though. I was Her. Her eye opened through my body. I was looking into a mirror and I saw her looking back at me.
It was Radha, Isis, Kali, Mary Magdelene, Mother Mary and all Goddesses. They were One and inside me. I knew
I was in the Temple of the One, even though before this experience, I didn’t even know that existed.
I knew I was That. I also sensed a feminine presence behind me. I knew her well. I greeted her saying, “Hello Mother…Goddess.” Then the experience disappeared instantly.
I was back in the room. The Icaros stopped. I could instantly feel the energy getting dark.
I opened my eyes and could see demons crawling out of their dens. I braced myself inwardly for what was about to come.
I saw a big human size tarantula climbing toward Diogenes as he was getting up. I saw it vanish when it got close to him.
He was walking over to me. I closed my eyes, afraid he had become the tarantula man. When I opened my eyes he was sitting in front of me.
I felt so much relief that he was there. It was as if he knew I was in trouble and came. I felt so safe.
He started singing my Icaro and I settled in.
Then, things really got weird. I felt completely peaceful and looked down to find that my body was some sort of Insectoid Alien type being. I was all sprawled out with long spindly legs, almost roach-like.
I was letting it all hang out and felt like I was about to give birth. I felt at peace and okay with it all. Then, I realized how grotesque I was.
I just kept surrendering to it and somehow accepted myself as this being. It was beautiful, the Icaros were beautiful, I’m sure my little alien baby was even going to be beautiful. I was certain I’d crossed the line of sanity, but I went with it.
I just kept saying, “I trust Ayahuasca and what she has to teach me.”
I became aware of the pain in my side that I’d been feeling for a few weeks prior to coming.
The Mother started speaking through me to this pain in my abdomen. She was telling the pain it was okay to go and that it was safe and loved. She was very powerful and giving. This went on for the rest of the Icaro.
When he was finished, I sank back into my body and felt relaxed contentment. I stayed in this space for the rest of the night.
I had asked what my genius was somewhere toward the end of the Icaro and felt like Aya just left.
I guessed this was not the question that needed answering.
I also remember before the Icaro, Diogenes started whistling and making sounds.
I could hear hissing and whistling. I felt him directing the demons and showing them to their places. Then, he was sending them back there.
He was dispersing them. He was a true master of energy. It was other worldly and full of magic.