Why Are You So Dramatic? What Is Wrong With You?!
Have you heard this before? I cringe even typing it.
Unfortunately, I’ve heard this more than I’d like…mostly from men, which stung even worse.
It tended to leave me feeling wrong somehow, but I didn’t shut down.
I learned to let them flow, except for anger because my mom would yell at me and tell me, “don’t be hateful!”
As a highly sensitive empath, I felt not only my emotions but the feelings of others that I was around.
This often resulted in emoting the feelings in the man I was in a relationship with, which caused discomfort on their part.
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I already had abandonment issues from growing up with an alcoholic father. Even when he was there, I wasn’t sure which him to expect.
There was the raging man with black eyes, the preoccupied one, the goofy nutball, the overly critical perfectionist and the depressed sleeping one.
So, I spent most of the time walking on eggshells when he was around, never quite feeling like he was fully present with me and secretly hoping one day he would show up to love me.
Needless to say, watching my relationship end because of my sensitivity was devastating.
I was still looking and waiting for someone to fully be present with ALL of me, but instead finding another boyfriend leaving
I believed there was something wrong with me for a while and tried to shut down all the emotions.
It was like walking around like a zombie. I was miserable and lost. I had no energy and I started becoming bitter.
Then, I started surrounding myself with more conscious spiritually minded people that reminded me of Who I Am.
I began feeling again and feeling deeply.
My life energy came back and so did the gifts.
I had to come to a level of self-acceptance in order to start feeling again.
I had to realize that I may be judged as overly sensitive, or a drama queen. Then, I had to sink into who I was.
I accepted the pain of being different. I also had to be okay if I never stopped feeling sad, anxious, or angry.
When I was able to sink into acceptance of what was, I found relief.
If you are afraid of being judged, it is okay. Start by asking yourself, “can I accept feeling judged?”
If you are afraid of losing loved ones, it is okay. I had to ask, “are they angry at me or are they afraid of their own feelings?”
“Do I have any control over this?”
I realized I would never truly be abandoned if I accepted and loved me fully and that started with honoring my feelings.
Empathic people are meant to feel things deeply and often.
They have the ability to naturally transform heavy energy into light.
It is a truly beautiful service to others if we can accept it and use it.
It may stir repressed emotions other individuals, once we start feeling it.
This can be scary for them and they may lash out. Just remember to keep coming back to your heart.
You do not have to participate in any judgment or reaction.
All you have to do is keep breathing and being true to you.
If we are not feeling, we are not living our purpose.
It is not up to anyone else to tell us how to live our purpose and they do not get to decide what it looks like.
Own your gifts, Dear One, and know that on the other side of these emotions you will find more Beauty, Grace, Peace, and Personal Power.
Thank you for reading.
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Misha Almira is a shamanic healer. meditation teacher, and full time blogger.