7 Highly Effective Happiness Hacks
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Is our happiness based on what is happening in our external world or in our genes? Shawn Achor Author of The Happiness Advantage Studied happiness based on external environment and information about a person.
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They were only able to predict 10% variability of happiness in an individual according to outside circumstances. 90% of long-term happiness wasn’t about the external world, it was about how the human brain processed the world around them, how they processed the money they had, how they processed the relationships etc.
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This shows that the key to happiness does not come from outside of ourselves. It is not about what we are doing or where we are or other people around us.Happiness is not an accident. It is not something that some people can have and some don’t. It is a very natural state of being that we are all worthy of and can have. What we are not always taught, is that it is a choice.
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Lost in Pursuit
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Often, our pursuit of happiness leads to more sorrow. We start looking outside of ourselves to find happiness. We get into the habit of looking for ideal situations to make us feel complete. I thought happiness looked like the exciting highs we experience when we are elated and that we were meant to live that way all the time. When I didn’t feel that way, I assumed I was not happy.
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When I stopped enjoying my passion, I felt grief over the change. Instead of allowing the grief and the process of change/growth. I told myself it was wrong and permanent. It must mean something is lost. Then, a Doctor diagnosed me with depression. I started believing my experience was something that needed to change. As a result, a part of me stopped living.
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Complaining is Asking For What We Don’t Want
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Every time we complain we are really setting an unconscious intention of creating what we are complaining about. If you are wondering what your subconscious limitations are. Pay attention to what you are complaining about. Every time, I would complain about not being happy or feeling depressed, I got more of it.
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Our subconscious mind is like a computer that takes the programming we give it and then sends out messages to our body according to what it has been given. It does not have a preference it only processes information. Negative and positive mean nothing to it. It will just run software from what we put in.
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Ultimately, we have a choice of what we feed into our computer and the results we get. We just don’t always choose to believe this.
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The grief I initially experienced was very real and if allowed it could have turned into self-love and renewed passion with time.
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Instead, I chose to put in a program of being depressed and convinced myself something was wrong so my body actually became clinically depressed.
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It is a very different situation than a mental disorder being dismissed as “all in the mind.” I do not believe this is any more accurate than saying Cancer is “all in the mind.” Depression is as serious valuable and real as Cancer to the person experiencing it. If you choose to think one disease is “all in the mind,” then you must choose that theory for all disease.
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My Story
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Through unconscious repetition, I established a habit of looking to the past as an example of comparison. I used it as a reason to beat myself up. “I used to be happy and now I’m not.” “I’ve lost myself.” “I lost my passion.” “I must be a failure.” “There must be something wrong with me.”
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This became my self-talk/programming and formed a story around who I was in relation to this world. It started creating a feeling of not being safe in the world, which translated into meaning the world is harsh. All I could see around me were harsh people. My relationships became toxic in relation to my own inner violence. I became increasingly more fearful and avoided people. When people were not harsh with me, I had a hard time letting the love in. It was not matching with my constant programs of self-loathing.
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This habitual thinking caused an imbalance in brain chemicals and led to a perpetual state of depression. It was not “all in my mind.” It had become a very real diagnosis. However, the source did start has a misinterpretation of life and who I identified myself with. It took years to see this, from a perspective of hindsight. Once in the thick of depression, I could not just ignore the symptoms. I could not just talk myself out of it.
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I remember when I was depressed, people would say, “just get up and workout.” “just be happy.” I would get very frustrated because I did not know how to do that. I felt misunderstood broken and alienated.They were not telling me how but just demanding the end result. As much as I wanted to do exactly that, I felt like I couldn’t. I felt helpless to make a change. The last thing I needed was a to-do list when simply getting out of bed seemed monumental “How could it be so easy for them and impossible for me?” “What is the point?”
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How did I get from there to here?
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It happened quite accidentally. I had to manage the actual symptoms of depression and change my brain chemistry. I also had to take steps to assist my body in rebalancing itself.
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I will share exactly what I did. First, I took baby steps. My to-do list became finding something each day that I thought I could enjoy. I still allowed myself to sleep a lot as long as I found one thing to enjoy. It did not feel natural. I had forgotten what it was like to have fun.
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It started out as little things. One day it might be coloring for five minutes. Another day, it might be having tea in the sun. I only committed to one thing because it took a lot of energy to just do that. I go more into the details in the list below.
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Eventually, my focus changed. Rather than constantly seeking what I thought happiness was, I stopped looking and that is when I found it within. My focus was taken away from what I didn’t have and shifted to what I could find to enjoy even for a little bit of time. These are the steps I took to get back to happiness. Today, I am happier than I have ever been in my life. If it worked for me, it can work for you too.
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7 Hacks into Happiness
1.Vitamins and Minerals
Sometimes our bodies need a little assistance because food does not always meet our nutritional needs. Multivitamins and minerals made a big difference in how I felt and balancing my brain.
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I would definitely recommend seeing a Naturopath and getting blood work done to see what you may be deficient in. I absolutely hate going to the lab but found out a few simple fixes that my body desperately needed.
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I found I was deficient in Magnesium, & Calcium.
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I also started taking a brain supplement to make sure it was getting all it needed to function optimally. I had not put much thought into supplementing the brain because it is not a common practice. After I felt the difference, I questioned why we are not educated on this more often. This made a huge difference in my energy level and motivation. It made it easier to actually get out of bed which is why this step is the best place to start.
2. Practice Happiness
I never knew happiness was something you could practice. I just thought either you had it or you didn’t.
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When I was at my lowest of lows, inspiration seemed like an impossible goal to reach for. My friend said to make a list of things I enjoyed. I was at a complete loss. I remember trying to find one thing and coming up with nothing. I made it a goal to find one thing by the end of the week. Surely, I could find that one thing that made me feel little better. It took a while, but I found one. Animals.
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No matter how dark my life got, I was still inspired by animals. It was just a slight spark of relief. It was difficult at first because most days my main objective was to get the day over with so I could crawl back in bed. Some days it was all I could do to just drag myself outside to watch my cats walking through the grass. I’d do it for a few minutes then go back inside.
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Gradually, my scope got bigger and I could admire the pair of eagles in the tree at the top of the bluff. It got me out of my misery and slightly more in my heart. I cared about animals even when I could barely take care of my own personal hygiene.
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I mustered up the energy and courage to volunteer at the animal shelter 2 days a week. At first, it was hard to get there and hard to feel while I was there. I was still just trying to get it over with so I could feel like I tried. My bed was still calling me.
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Eventually, I started experiencing a connection with the animals and joy started showing up. I felt a sense of purpose just being there to clean the cages. It mattered on some mundane level. If I was not there, those animals might have to drink dirty water or sleep with a smelly box. They might not get to play outside their cage that day. The little annoying tasks of life started adding up to something with a bit of value.
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For my friend, it was flowers. She said no matter how low she got, she could always count on flowers to lift her spirits. I started watering her plants and flowers every other day. Then, I realized being in the sun made me feel a little better.
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I started mowing her lawn once a week. Was it easy? No, I had to literally drag myself out of my room and just start taking action. It was hard every day. I did it anyway. Then, I started noticing a slight shift in my mood. it was subtle at first. With time, it gradually grew lighter. My life was a simple series of actions that moved me slowly toward relief. Each one of them added to a whole picture of what ended up being the return of my life.
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My spirit was being nurtured each time I made myself grab the water hose or the fuel can for the lawnmower. It was tiny acts of surrender and service that taught me how what happiness could look like. I’d completely forgotten. In my mind, I thought it should look like laughter and bliss. I thought I should be doing cartwheels or feeling madly in love. I thought anything else was not real happiness. I was relearning the art of happiness and the practice of happiness.
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3. Movement/Yoga
A 1999 study at Duke University and published in the Archives of Internal Medicine found that regular exercise was effective in decreasing symptoms of major depressive disorder. Exercise causes your body to increase its sensitivity to endorphins and stimulates production of norepinephrine.
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I started with a short walk on the beach or walking in the yard. Then, I decided to integrate yoga into my schedule. Yoga has many benefits for the mind and body. It is designed to balance the two and relieve stress.
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In a German study published in 2005, 24 women who described themselves as “emotionally distressed” took two 90-minute yoga classes a week for three months.Depression scores improved by 50%, anxiety scores by 30%, and overall well-being scores by 65%.
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I signed up for 2 classes a week of yoga. I am a night owl, so I chose a class at night. The hardest part was getting there but made myself do it. The results were significant and positive. I found myself smiling and laughing more. I also had the desire to spend more time around others. I found myself being in joy more frequently. It took a few months before I was able to make this type of commitment, but I got there.
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4. Touch
Who knew hugs could actually increase happiness and well-being? According to research done at the University of North Carolina, women that received more hugs from their partners had increased levels of oxytocin, and lower blood pressure.
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5. Water
A Study at Tufts University found that dehydration was associated with negative mood, confusion, and fatigue.
When I got my bloodwork done, the Doctor found that I was dehydrated. He instructed me to drink 16 ounces first thing in the morning. Then, drink about 4 ounces every 30 minutes.
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He explained the sprinkler effect. If we leave the sprinkler on the lawn, it can slowly sink into the grass and soil. It saturates it at a speed it can absorb it. If we just dump gallons of water out all at once. We end up with too much water on the surface and it gets muddy.
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It is better for us to slowly hydrate rather than guzzling a half gallon too quickly.
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6. Intentions
By setting daily intentions, we are communicating with our body, mind and soul and asking for what we want. We are allowing our Universe to create what we actually want instead of what we fear or don’t want.
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Since we know that complaining is putting in an order of what we don’t want, we need to know how to get what we do want. We already know where complaining and living on default leads us. Now lets try a new approach. Intentions are different than desparately trying to get something we feel we don’t already have.
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Intentions are like specific requests for how we would like to see our day go. It can be a simple statement first thing in the morning like, “today I’m easily creating more laughter.”
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7. Let Go of the Past
One of the main mental habits I saw contributing to my depression was focusing on the past. I was unconsciously comparing my past self to my present self over and over.
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Then, I felt justified in beating myself up. It was depleting the self-love and developing self-violence. Anything that is haunting you, let it go. Any past situations that cause remorse or guilt are not serving you anymore. Forgive the past, and forgive yourself. It is time to look forward.
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Happiness Is
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When we are seeking happiness, we are really focused on something we don’t have. What I’ve found is that true happiness is a constant contentment in all that we do. I had to relearn this.
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Even excitement is fleeting and can leave us feeling like we have lost happiness. The truth is, we ARE happiness in our natural state of being. We don’t have to look for the water when we are swimming in the ocean. There is no way to get it. We are already in it, but this means nothing if you don’t actually know you are swimming in the ocean.
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Everything in this post is shared with the intention of helping others on their journey. Everything that worked for me might not work for you. It is very important to take responsibility for your own life and health. Listen intently to your inner guidance and follow your own truth always.
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