Do You Ever Feel Like a Fraud? Many people suffer from feeling like a fraud in their lives or fraud syndrome.

Do You Ever Feel Like a Fraud?

Many people suffer from feeling like a fraud in their lives or fraud syndrome. They are climbing the corporate ladder or succeeding in their dream career yet somehow feel like they don’t deserve it. In the back of their minds, they wonder when someone is going to see through them and put an end to it all. After all, how long can they get away with getting paid to do what they love?

Maybe you are in a relationship that seems to be going fantastically well and you are just waiting for it to come to a crashing halt when they discover the real you. Can you relate? I certainly can.

For many years, I avoided too much commitment or responsibility. I secretly feared that if I stayed too long, my real self would be revealed. They would realize I was different than them. They would see that I was pretending at this thing called life. I was acting like a human but inside I felt like so much more. At the same time, I felt very small.

What is it about truly living up to our potential that is so threatening? We are so accustomed to failing that we cannot allow our lives to change for the extraordinary. At least not for too long.

The Conscious & Subconscious Mind

It can be baffling to feel this way because on the surface conscious level of the mind we might think we are very worthy of success. We might identify more with being successful than not because we have grown accustomed to achieving great results. We have put in the time to develop the skills and know that we deserve success.

We may feel like we are worthy of a happy relationship after several failed ones. We can even genuinely feel done with the struggle and ready for a satisfying union. When our inner world starts pulling away from this, it can be confusing frustrating and leave us hopeless.

The subconscious mind is functioning from a place of known programs. It tries to keep a constant state of homeostasis what is normal and what matches its programs from the past. It stores every bit of information it has ever been given and if the majority of the stored data is matching failure, it will continue to move in that direction.

Let’s say when you were growing up, you saw your mom having to work several jobs to pay the bills. She was always loving and supportive toward you. She never complained and you lacked for nothing. She was providing you with abundance, but she was showing you through her actions that life had to be hard. You had to work very hard and to the point of exhaustion to get the things you needed. Although, she may have never said that to you, your internal computer was documenting all of it.

Years later when you get a promotion within a year of being with a new company, your programming kicks in. You did not work hard enough to get a promotion. You must not really deserve it. You might get an offer that seems too good to be true because it is exactly what you have always dreamed of. You don’t feel right accepting it because it came too easy. There must be something wrong.

Perhaps, you grew up in a functional household but your dad was never around. Even when he was there, he was preoccupied. He seemed friendly enough but was not often present with you. He would agree when you talked but did he even hear what you said? As a kid this didn’t really seem to bother you.

Then, years later you are in a relationship with a man or woman that often leaves you feeling unimportant. You feel like you are begging for time with them. They are annoyed, and you are growing more frustrated as time goes on. It doesn’t make sense and it is easy to make them the bad guys. What is really happening is your computer program is just using stored data to recreate the same scenario over and over. It doesn’t know any different.

Unless, we begin to reprogram the computer with new and better data, it will continue. It took years to program and it might take some time to replace these old programs so be patient and diligent. It can change. Now, I’d like to share another contributing factor of this story.

The Strength of True Vulnerability

After digging a little deeper, I discovered what I was really afraid of was becoming completely transparent, especially in a professional setting. How would it be to let my guard down while being surrounded by hard-nosed professionals? They undervalue vulnerability, feelings, and being open. That was my idea anyway. Allowing them to see my underbelly would only project an image of weakness. Right?

It was unspoken and yet ever present in all of my interactions with coworkers. There was a persona that I upheld at work and another at home. It had worked for me for years, until it didn’t. It had formed a split or compartmentalization in my soul and it began cracking at the seams. These dislocated aspects of myself were coming back to the whole whether I liked it or not. I’d find myself, busting into tears at work, unable to control what was previously a tight ship of organized filtering. The softer sides were bleeding into my professional persona and the hard aspects were taking over at home. I was losing it. This was a good thing.

I became desperate to integrate all of it but was not sure how. I knew there was a new feminine presence waking up inside of me. I could feel it in my dreams at night and when I was fully grounded out in nature. I could hear it in my voice when my passion peaked through. I made it my intent to gather all of these parts and bring them into wholeness.

Through practicing Soul Journeying, certain aspects began showing up to be reintegrated. It was essential for them to come in their own time, but it was happening. My everyday life became more manageable, softer, and more empowered. The more naturally vulnerable I became, the more I felt heard. As my heart was opening it was affecting everyone around me. The individuals that seemed the hardest were changing before my eyes. My world was opening to me and around me. The story I had about professional persona was quickly revealed as nothing but a lie. My interactions were full and deeper.

It was no longer a matter of me changing to fit my environment but about being authentic within myself. It was my fear of intimacy that had created the gap in connection. Now, that was being erased and the truth was shining through. The experience of Oneness has taken the place of feeling different than others. There is no longer a desire to run because there is nothing to run from…no reason to hide.

We all have old wounds but we can wear our scars without fear. We do not have to hide them away because we believe we are the only ones. We are not alone. We are not in control of our lives and never have been. We have control over what we think, how we react, and what we choose to focus on. We can resist the upward flow of creation or we can let go and receive. We are all on a journey together, discovering more ways to love.

How Do We Reverse Fraud Syndrome?

Decide to make it a priority to appreciate yourself every day. When you wake up, find something you like about yourself. Keep this habit going all day. You will be amazed at what a difference this small exercise will make.
Stop watching news and listening to gossip. This is inputting more negative into your mind which results in more negative self-talk. If you don’t believe me, try it for a week. Then, you will notice how many negative thoughts come up. By being aware, you can change the habit.
Reward yourself in small ways for small accomplishments. This builds up your worthiness in your mental bank. It tricks the subconscious mind into finding ways that you are worthy. It is like a savings account. The more money you have in it the better you feel.
Become aware when you feel unworthy of your success. Follow the feeling in your body. Then, ask yourself, “when was the last time I felt this way?” After that ask yourself, “when was the first time I felt this way?” Your body will reveal significant memories from your past that could be the source of it. Once aware of the source, it is easy to feel it and let it go for good.
Hypnosis speaks directly to the subconscious mind and inserts new ideas and programming that can serve us. It is a way to create on purpose that which we desire. It can change a defeating habit in as little as 28 days. Feel free to contact me if you would like a customized hypnosis audio for your specific goals.

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Do You Ever Feel Like a Fraud?