How Ayahuasca Healed My Anxiety & Made My Life Easier
Where is my anxiety?! I know I left it right here.
Imagine living a life without your life long issues?
I’d heard of this but the actual experience was quite a mind trip.
I found myself looking for my old familiar security blankets, anxiety, and depression. You know the ones.
The dirty smelly not-so-soft-anymore ones that you can barely function without.
The Hungry Ghosts you consider to be your closest friends simply because they were always around…you know the ones I’m speaking about.
You’d become so accustomed to them, you’d allowed them to rule your life, hold you down, and alienate you. The important thing was that they were reliable.
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Shamanic Healing
I’d done Shamanic healing to work on my old wounds, addictions, and issues. I’d faced demons that terrified me in the hopes I’d come out a brand new, powerful and happy me.
Well, here I was…after 11 Ayahuasca ceremonies and many Shamanic healing sessions feeling raw, vulnerable and slightly broken.
Then, I noticed something. I couldn’t find anxiety or depression anywhere inside.
They once filled certain places in my body and now they weren’t there! I searched my mind.
I waited for the angst that usually crept in at first light of day, like a uniform jacket that somehow labeled me as “who I am.”
I tried to dig deeper to find the inevitable gnawing sadness and angst. I got nothing.
I looked around in anticipation.
My thoughts were saying the same things, but they were not followed with anxiety.
It was like they were just phantoms of old stories.
They were the hungry ghosts but they no longer had any real influence.
They were echoes in a canyon getting further away until…silence.
Wow. I didn’t feel anxiety. Even in situations that would have definitely triggered it before, I felt…happy.
I’m still getting accustomed to that being my new normal.
Wait, is this possible? Did I just say happy?
My Husband’s Panic Attacks
My husband and I were going on a road trip with his parents. We were going to spend 5 days with them and he was anticipating the worst.
He’d experienced a panic attack while sitting at their dinner table 4 years ago and couldn’t shake the memory.
For years, he has associated dinner tables with terror.
We had just returned from a trip to Peru to work with Ayahuasca. He was taking an honest inventory of how he felt.
His mind was telling him it was going to be a rough trip, but the reality of the trip was much different.
He did not have a panic attack and the only anxiety he had while they were here was from what might happen.
When he actually looked at his experience, he was great. He was actually confident.
Erased Pathways
The healing we had done with a Shaman and Ayahuasca had erased the trauma and the triggers for anxiety.
We found ourselves listening to the hungry ghost banter but were not actually triggered anymore.
It was so interesting to see both of us looking for our habitual anxiety and finding a new experience.
The old thoughts were still there but the emotional reaction was not.
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Wow! I’ve just stumbled across this article and it’s EXACTLY what I’m going through at the moment. I’ve done ayahuasca about 40 times now and FINALLY feel like I’ve got to the really deep core beliefs that have been ruling my life.
My anxiety is gone. But it’s exactly like you say. I notice situations that would have filled me with fear before and my brain automatically looks inside to find…. nothing. I feel like my brain is catching up to the changes in my being. How are you guys getting along now, nearly a year later? How long did it take for your mind to stop looking for depression and anxiety? And thank you for writing this article!
Love
Arron
Hi Arron,
How wonderful to have done Aya 40 times. It is such a beautiful medicine and spirit. It took about 3 months to integrate the deep healing. The mind was still habitually going back to default settings, but the healing was permanent. I could feel Aya guiding and working with me in my everyday life which was so helpful.
There were times when it seemed like the depression was coming back, but it was actually just the brain rewiring the old pathways. It was confusing and a bit disorienting.
Then, through guidance, I realized that the confusion was actually an important part of the integration and not a step backward. When I stopped judging the confusion and seeming lack of clarity, it really helped solidify the process. We are told about integration, but that term had a very vague meaning for me. The actual experience of integration was an organic process of allowing the medicine to continue to work as I settled back into my life. It was more subtle, but I found that my life had become like one big Aya ceremony. As long as I stayed in a place of surrender, the healing continued. I hope this makes sense.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience!
Love,
Misha