How to Gain Power Over Your Addiction – Slaying One Dragon at a Time
Let’s talk about addiction. Have you ever watched yourself doing something you know is bad for you but you do it anyway?
Do you ever find yourself not being able to stop thinking about that drink you are going to have when you get off or the chocolate cake you are going to eat tonight at dinner?
Have you ever decided to go to a party just for the food or drink? Come on admit it, you have at least done this once right? What about being more excited to have popcorn than the actual movie you are going to see?
What Happens in the Mind of the Addict?
There are tons of books and meetings to tell you all about addiction and how to manage it. I have read a lot and I have been to the meetings. I do not disagree with any of the advice I’ve gotten from many of these sources.
Today, I want to talk about what happens in the mind of an addict. For me, addiction starts with an emptiness. It is easy to miss.
Most of the time, we skip over the feeling and go straight to the escape, which is what substances promise us.
They promise that we will instantly feel different…better. We will feel full again. You can pick a different substance each week if you want, but it is still the same emptiness.
That is why there is addiction even after we quit drinking or taking those pills. The emptiness stays and the want to escape can make us crazy especially if we are just trying to stay away from the substance that gave us the quick fix.
Here is the deal. Feeling empty is uncomfortable.
No one wants to go into a black hole or the unknown.
We don’t know what is going to jump out or consume us. We might not ever come out! Instead of just facing the big scary empty hole inside we start to obsess about escaping it.
It starts with one thought. Then, we lose half the day just thinking about our escape.
Everyone else becomes a nuisance getting in our way of “truly being happy.” We don’t even see what is happening.
Now I’m going to tell you what I have discovered.
There are predatory entities or spirits that feed on emptiness, fear, doubt, shame, guilt, remorse, hatred and disgust.
They want us to be swallowed in the emptiness so they have more to feed on and can get control over our minds.
They want to destroy you. If you have ever been deep in an addiction, you know this is true.
They are just waiting for us to start thinking negative thoughts about ourselves and about others.
They also love to feed the addictions. Alcohol, certain drugs, or anything we take too much of can become energetic portals for entities to slip through.
Ever had that feeling like you weren’t being yourself while under the influence?
They especially love it when we obsessively think. They come in and start feeding us thoughts that perpetuate our misery.
They entice us with unhealthy thoughts of how that drink will make us feel better.
This is how we lose control of our lives through addiction. It starts with a thought and then we give our power over to these predatory thoughts and powers that influence them.
This is not a religious thing, but if you watch it while it is happening it becomes very clear.
I will give you an example. The other day, I was sitting at my computer and started feeling bored and hungry.
I started having thoughts about how I had no food in the house and no car to go get any. I was getting mad because my boyfriend had the car. My thoughts were just bombarding me.
I was going to go the store and get nachos and cookies. Maybe I would order pizza. Blah Blah Blah.
Then, I stopped and asked myself what was going on? I took a breath and noticed what I was feeling. I felt desperate inside, bored, hungry, and empty. There it was. Big dark and lonely emptiness.
Then I asked myself if I was okay with just feeling desperate, bored, hungry, and empty.
My body relaxed, and I breathed in deeply. I instantly felt relief. Just allowing our current experience can give us relief. One of the bravest questions we can ask ourselves is, “how am I feeling right now?”
Our first response might be something like, “I feel like getting the hell out of here!” or “I feel annoyed by these people taking in my way!”
There is always something beneath these types of escape thoughts. They can mask as feelings. The trick is to go deeper.
Do you feel sad?
Do you feel angry?
Do you feel guilty?
Do you feel lonely?
Do you feel scared?
Our ego likes to tell us how ridiculous this is, but I dare you to really try it. I don’t mean ask yourself and then get distracted with better things. I mean ask yourself and truly feel the answer.
If we do this often enough, we will start to realize the emptiness is the key to our ultimate fulfillment.
Each time we feel it, it becomes a little less scary. Then, all that emptiness can be filled.
We will notice our creativity coming back and our joy. We all want happiness, fulfillment, and love.
We can start by acknowledging where we are feeling empty. Then, we can work on filling it.
It sounds simple and it actually is, if you are willing to stop right now and notice. We can set an intention of filling ourselves with Divine Love.