Last night was a challenge. The left side of my body was aching in my knee, head, and neck. I had nightmares about other people being tortured. I knew I could get away if I left them to be tortured, but I chose to stay and save this woman. I did not know how I was going to save her and in the instant I had that thought, I realized I was in a dream. I realized I could diffuse and change the energy of the torturer because I was the creator of the dream.
The rest of the day I was aware of toxins moving out. Later in the day, I could feel the energy shift into a lighter feeling.
Today I woke up feeling a tug on my consciousness. I wasn’t sure what it was, but I felt an intense yearning for something. I decided to go grocery shopping with my boyfriend and could barely stand myself in the store. I wanted everything I saw. I was trying to justify stopping the cleanse and buying regular food. My boyfriend was picking up rice and sausage. I felt almost desperate for something and I was making it about food.
When I got home, I cried. When I was done a calm came over me. I immediately started getting the message to shift my focus inside. I was told this was a powerful time and I had an opportunity to use this cleanse for spiritual clarity. I felt a steady stream of guided messages leading me to look up the story of Babaji. I didn’t know anything about him other than my good friend would always mention him.
When I looked up the story of Babaji, I was in awe. Then, I was led back to my favorite book, Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahansa Yogananda, born Mukunda Lal Ghosh. He was an Indian guru that taught the teachings of Babaji to many westerners. His guru Sri Yukteswar Giri was visited by Babaji and told to teach a disciple of his, Kriya Yoga and have him share it with westerners in a way they could understand. Paramahansa opened a center in Encinitas, CA and linked Krishna and Christ for the teaching of Kriya Yoga.
I visited Encinitas, CA through a turn of synchronistic events back in 2007, not even knowing the center was there until I got there. All I knew was that I never wanted to leave. There are more links with all of this to even more of my past, but I will not go into that for this story.
The point of this story is I could feel my guides working through me to show me all of the times I was unconsciously guided in my life and how every event is tied together and has a reason. We are never in control. We are always guided by our guides and Higher selves, even when we feel lost. I also was reminded that when we have that deep yearning or desperation, we are usually seeking a more expanded heart experience. Either that or we know on some level that heart expansion is coming.
That is exactly what happened for me. My heart started expanding and at first it felt uncomfortable. I became aware of what was ready to release to allow for more. I had a healing session with a Shaman healer.
In the session, she started working with my 3rd chakra. I could feel energy of power and control. I could feel the places where I try to control my uncomfortable experiences. She moved up to my 5th chakra and the energy became like a rock. She said there was stagnant energy there and mentioned it could be fear of speaking my truth. I checked in and what I saw was it was not fear of speaking my truth, but of how it is received after I speak it. She asked me what I was afraid of. I got that I was afraid that if it was misunderstood, I could be killed.
Without putting a logical story around it, I just breathed and felt it. Then, I breathed and released it. It moved out of my throat and I could feel a channel open between my 3rd, 4th, and 5th chakras. The energy was moving like liquid from one to the other. There were no blocks and the tingling light pulsed through my legs and up to my throat.
Then, I could feel a tightness in my jaw and pain in my ears. I got an overwhelming urge to yawn and felt like I couldn’t yawn deep enough. I thought my jaw might become unhinged but I just watched the healing as it occurred. I had 5 involuntary yawns…huge yawns. Then, I coughed and started toning. It was all releasing and leaving for good.
We did a journey and I progressively felt something open inside me. It was a profound shift and I could feel the light being poured into me. After the session, I tingled from head to toe and felt like my body was radiating light energy. Words fall short of the experience, but it was a deep grounded sense of Oneness. There was no accident that I was cleansing and it was the full moon. We are always divinely guided.
Today I woke up and had the message to meditate as much as possible. I got my work done and felt some hunger but was sufficiently distracted. Then, in the afternoon I meditated. It didn’t feel particularly deep but that can be deceiving. When I got up, I was in a place of quiet solitude…seated peacefully inside…watching. I was aware of thoughts and intense hunger pangs. They did not torment me though.
I was just observing them as if they were part of something else. It became entertaining to see the dramatization of my mind around the ravenous hunger. It was like the Tazmanian devil on a rampage. It was comical from where I was seated…in the Absolute Peace of the One. It felt so full and yet my mind was on and on about burgers and chips. This was my entertainment of day 14.